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Question of the Day

I decided to do something a little different today so I reached out to my followers on Facebook to see what they would like to learn about me.

 

I have been trying to think up a blog topic. Then it hit me! Ask my readers! What would any of my followers like to know about me?

Posted by Vyxen VonWolfie on Tuesday, December 15, 2015

I received a quick reply; I am always skeptical as most Burlesque performers or Pinup models receive some oddball questions; however, this one was good!

“What goes through my head when I dance?” – Asked by Mr. Adair Alan

I have had to really sit and think about this; for me, dance is different depending on style. There is a different feeling in my performance as a Belly dancer then as a Burlesque performer. Though, there is also some similarities.

For me music is my medication, my counsel, my outlet to plug into my spiritual self. Depending on the type of music I am literally able to shift myself into a different energy level (go ahead you nonbelievers it’s okay to skip over this). I often use music to get into the space I need to be in so I can clear homes and perform Reiki. This is similar energy to when I belly dance, especially solos.

For belly dance I usually keep to an earthy feeling, most of my performances are extremely grounded and I often lose myself in the expression of movement. I have been known to “go someplace else” so to speak.

In regards to Burlesque, I have to “feel” the music first. Sometimes I have a song picked and then I construct my act around that song. Sometimes I have a concept and then I hunt for a piece of music that fits that concept. Burlesque is more of a show then a spiritual feeling. I tend to be more of a comedian on stage for Burlesque and enjoy engaging in a more twisted sense of reality.

While as a Belly dancer I almost feed off the energy of the music and movements. It is a way to express sensuality instead of sexuality and to really “feel” yourself in the current moment.

So, in a less complicated explanation… “What goes through your head when dancing?…” Absolutely nothing…. I try my best to “feel” instead of “think” when belly dancing. If I “think” to much I get in my own way and I almost lose the ability to dance.

As for Burlesque; I listen… I listen for my queues as most of my performances are improv based with at least 3 to 5 key moments where I know I need to take a specific articular of clothing off.

So there we have it, today’s topic of the day🙂

~Wolfie

remember

Remember…

My dating track record is rather short; but it appears the routine for the last 9 years are Jar Heads… For those of you not privy on military slang this is a US Marine.  My ex-husband was one, and when I went dating again all the hits were more. I have no issues with it honestly, military folk are pretty much like every one else; they can be an ass or they can be a sincere and genuine individual. Now, before your undies get into a bunch I say “just like everyone else” extremely, so very extremely loosely!!!

I have loved ones, friends and acquaintances who have served in many different branches; some have not witnessed combat while others have. Now that shapes someone, changes them and there is no way for someone to say that those individuals are, just-like-everyone-else. I say that with absolutely no judgment, no negative intention or feeling. It just is; I know folks who came back fine and I know those who have lost either physically or mentally. I by no means, will ever be able to say I understand because I know that coming from someone who has never been in a situation like that will never truly understand. I can fathom, guess, get close to but never really be 100% on the same page of understanding. For the most part those who have served have been grateful for being honest and open when ever they feel comfortable with coming to me should they wish or need to.

With that said; I have learned more about our history by my interactions with my military friends then I have ever learned in school… so, it is time to Remember…

Let’s remember what occurred on the 7th of December in 1941 and take a moment to be thankful, mindful and quiet for those who served and those who lost at Pearl Harbor.

I am still working on getting involved in the support of our VET and Military community but I can honestly say, as soon as I can fit into one of these gal’s shirts I will arrange a photo shoot and wear that darn thing with love and support! It’s just one step of a lot of very small ones, but you don’t begin anything by standing still!

Check them out Girls4Gunslingers and see what they are all about! So much is to be done to support our men and woman who are serving and have served!

~Wolfie

Stop

Unfortunate Situations

Roaming around on the inter-webs I came across this article on SkyNews, I was confused at first glance as the subject just didn’t make sense to me being from the U.S. and not the U.K; “Police probe as fat cards dished out on tube”.

Tube made me automatically think of YouTube of course, but I opened the article and began to read and understood that it was the name for a train/subway system. Honestly it is rather sad and unfortunate and I want to take this moment to talk about body shaming and my own journey in the word of weight. Not to make you think “oh poor Wolfie,” but because I think a lot of folks out there (especially in America) feel that there is a huge non stop struggle over this big dark cloud we call body perfection… beauty.

I understand that my body will never be perfect; now that I am older I know how imperfect our models are and how extremely photo shopped our media is. I have always been a chubby kid. I was over 300 pounds in high school and I was anorexic and bulimic in college. Yes I work out at the gym, yes I do my best to eat healthy, but am I healthy? My blood tests say so… Do I need to lose weight, of course I do! My joints and body would love me for it! Is that my plan? It is, but I do not wish to be a thin person, I wish to be a healthy person for my body.  This may be at a size 16 or this may be at a size 14.  What I do know is a size 10 on my body is not healthy!

I understand that those goals would still land me in the fat, overweight, obese categories for our social standard of the perfect body but I have come to terms with that purely because I understand the struggle, I know how miserable and unhappy I was at my lowest and thinnest and I think that if you can not love you for who you are and the place that you are right now then you will never be happy with you when you are at your goal weight.

Do not strive for thinness, strive for healthiness and happiness! Once you are happy with who you are as a person your body should start to become the size it is meant to be for you. Keeping in mind you have to fuel and work it right😉

As for those folks who say or do mean things to people because of their weight; I am sorry that they feel obligated to tell someone that they are fat (or even ugly). I wonder if they ever feel bad about someone telling them that they are too skinny or ugly or whatever someone may choose to say to them. Would something like that hurt them? Are they really just feeling hurt inside and think that by putting others down they would feel better about themselves? Or are they so in their own world that they could care less about anyone else’s opinion? I know trolls exist, I have had some send me horrible messages in the past; does it hurt? Of course, but you have to let things like that roll off of you. What right do they have to make you feel like shit? Also, remember that you taking their opinion into consideration is 100% your control! So choose wisely my friends because there is already enough negativity in this world. Be your beautiful self and care for others how you would like to be cared for!

Wolfie

… and then there was red

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A wonderful photo shoot taken in the woods with Heather

There comes a time when you must break out of your normal color pallet, and though I love me some nice black and juicy earth tones… some times you just have to see red!

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Post Valentines Day Photo Shoot with Heather

I have begun the adventure of learning what colors look good on my skin tone and I am still learning what types of cloths look good on my body shape. So far, it’s a work in progress but I am actually enjoying myself for once.

You see, being of a larger body for most of my life, my relationship with cloths has always sucked. Back in the day of my childhood, plus size clothing was not very popular (and I am talking only 14/18 here even as low as a size 12), and Lane Bryant was a brand new concept in my area. Further to that, it catered to older women leaving most of their cloths made of spandex blends and floral prints.   All of which a growing teen wanted nothing to do with!

By the time I graduated college we had Fashion Bug (aka Catherines ) and the all too spendy Torrid. But the more I observed the cloths for plus sized women, the more I saw nothing but what my mom and I call “the burlap bag concept” yes, cloths that fit but are shapeless! Nothing a hourglass borderline pear would ever want to wear!

This is honestly why being a tomboy and wearing guys clothing worked for me… back then. But now, with the body positive movement and famous folks putting their foot down on social body norms and breaking out their own fashion lines; well cloths are now looking less ‘bag’ like and are also moving into the world of cotton!

I must say, even lingerie is being made adorable for the plus size body! Trust me, I went kicking and screaming to Lane Bryant last month with my boyfriend. He was trying to convince me that they have changed their ways, but I could not get past the flashbacks of the Black/White/Tan granny pantie and extremely full coverage bra days!

Needless to say I was pleasantly surprised and walked out with a variety of panties (trying to find a style that feels good) and a lovely (not too expensive) bra that looks extremely sexy!

Yes, my bf won major rocken points even with the “I told you so” delivery and since he has such a nice taste in style, he’s been drafted to be my shopping buddy!

Yes, I am sure you will hear all about it! Why? Because this is part of my adventure and I know many who struggle with the same such as I!

😉

~Wolfie

P.s. I have found that red and pink are actually not evil colors😉

The Beginning

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It all started back when the Seattle Seahawks made it to the Super Bowl! You see, Heather (as referenced in my about page) is an avid Seahawks fan and the troupe wanted to make her idea of doing a Seattle Seahawks photo shoot come alive!

This was only my 2nd time doing a real photo shoot, my first was a number of boudoir photos  that I put into a book as a wedding gift for my husband. Granted he loved it; when I got divorced I confiscated the book of course! But back to the point, I had never felt so amazing in my life as I did during that photo shoot so I jumped at helping in this one!

What I am learning about myself as a model; I am a serious person and I need to learn to have fun! However, I have to give thanks to the lovely Zsa Zsa Bordeaux who was making funny faces and cracking jokes behind Heather when she got the above shot! Some folks say, “A true smile is more beautiful then words”.

It was those two experiences that pressed forward my modeling desire. I have always wanted to be an alternative model, ever since I was a young soul. But back in those days photographers didn’t want anything to do with plus size bodies. But times are changing and the body positive movement is growing strong and I am excited to see how this moves forward!

~Wolfie